FROM THE DIARY OF THE REAL AUTHOR OF THE HARRY POTTER SERIES OF BOOKS:

I received a letter from STEPHEN TIMMS - MINISTER from WORK AND PENSIONS today and in a rather ghastly, cream envelope entitled CONQUEROR - excuse me whilst I attempt to stop myself from choking with laughter.

This is all very YES MINISTER! isn't it?

The SHARKS of WHITEHALL have probably fed this little MINNOW to me because one assumes, he is such a little wanker. On the other hand the signature denotes low intelligence. therefore if the letter wasn't so 'wanky', I might have some sympathy with him - he is being forced to take the 'public' rap.

However, I sense the MILIBANDS behind this one. They have probably buggered poor old TIMMS so many times, that they are now worried that he might 'kiss and tell'.

TIMMS has deliberately ignored the lynchpin of my argument - which I repeated more than 3 times, in my short but succinct email to his department - namely that 'government guidelines' i.e. 'rulings' are NOT legally enforceable in this country.

All UK cabinet members and politicians KNOW this; all government PR directors KNOW this but oddly enough, Mr Timms appears to be oblivious of this well-known fact.

The above letter comprises of the 'informed response' of Mr Timms, which bleats on about 'requirements' rather than LEGAL requirements.

Additionally, you might like to read the lambasting report in PRIVATE EYE this fortnight, which lays bare the obvious reasons for idiotic and unworkable schemes like NEW DEAL - to massage governmental statistics concerning the unemployed. However, there is a far more nefarious purpose at work here - to force people who are unemployed to work for nothing, in order to get State benefits.

Well and good if you are 'allowed' to have a job in this country - NOT good if you have been denied a job in this country by BRITISH INTELLIGENCE and the ROYAL ILLUMINATI CULT.
(To rub it in, I will email the URL of this letter upon the INTERNET to Mr Timms, to see if it provokes an even more 'interesting' response from the poor lad. None of you can touch me - never mind arrest me and you know it - I now have diplomatic immunity after 'changing sides' to the CIA.)

One last important point - I read in the news some time ago - that DAVID MILIBAND had inexplicably changed departments overnight - to go to the DEPARTMENT OF WORK AND PENSIONS - is this true? Is he done with spouting nonsense at PRIME MINISTER PUTIN as Foreign Secretary, from the Foreign Office?

Might one infer that this 'move' might have been an 'anticipatory one' in order to deal with my complaints regarding NEW DEAL? This just gets funnier...

Who is pulling the strings of the MILIBANDS then?

Is it still the 'ILL' part of the Mossad?

Emily Gyde MA
4th September 2008

PS I have just tried to contact the MINISTRY OF JUSTICE within central government, in order to give the above URL to 'interested parties' and have been BLOCKED from doing so to the following people:

general.queries@justice.gsi.gov.uk; ann.nixon@justice.gsi.gov.uk;secofstate@justice.gsi.gov.uk; DHSubmissions@justice.gsi.gov.uk;martyn.taylor@justice.gsi.gov.uk Cc: alexandra.knapton@justice.gsi.gov.uk;dileeni.daniel-selvaratnam@justice.gsi.gov.uk;bridget.prentice1@justice.gsi.gov.uk;customerserviceshq@hmcourts-service.gsi.gov.uk;tscommsunit@tribunals.gsi.gov.uk